January 2013

Sorry, it's been so many posts (having clues that I'm going through something related to my health) yet I haven't told the whole story of what it is, and how the missing month here (JANUARY) went. I guess it's because since I moved to this blog, I've always wanted to post ONLY positive things so there would be just the happy memories when I look back to our marriage's first year. But then I realize, not all negative things are sad memories! Actually, when I look back to January of this year, I just smile with awe, remembering that God always has unpredictable ways to spice up your life!

Okay, here's a quick intro, narrated as short as I can

I had lower back pains which started last Dec 29. I kept on tolerating it until January 17 (or 18. around that week), until I woke up having the same pain extended to my hamstring. It was so painful, similar to that kind of cramps we usually have when we stretch in the middle of the night ...except that the pain lasted forever, that it was really hard for me to walk. So I started working from home. Meanwhile I went to an Ortho (DOCTOR 1) who suggested to have a "nerve test" by EMG, which then showed that an "abnormality" is happening at a certain nerve somewhere in my lower back. He prescribed some vitamins and a painkiller, and that's it. I wasn't convinced, so I  consulted a Rehab Med doctor (DOCTOR 2) who said about the same thing. However he said I must undergo Physical Therapy apart from the meds. Just to confirm everything, Lou and I sent my EMG results to our friend, Michael, who is an ortho in Orthopedic Hospital (DOCTOR 3) who said that, he's certain, it's SLIPPED DISC that's causing a squeezed nerve, that's causing all the pain from back down the leg. and he agreed with DOCTORS 1 and 2 to have the prescribed meds + physical therapy.

We went back to the the Rehab Med/DOCTOR 2 to share DOCTOR 3's findings (in case that would mean added/special therapy or what) and he said, it's possible, but to really confirm this, I need to undergo MRI. But looking at my case (of back + hamstring tolerable pain), he doesn't think it's necessary because slipped disc or not, the treatment would be the same. According to him, the cause is still not clear, but possibilities are: the non-ergonomic chair at work and/or the working habit of NOT standing up for hours and/or several overnights back in December where I slept on too soft cushions.

To sum up - January was the most torturous month of my life thus far ...Except for our wedding day, when adrenaline did its job to make January 5 the happiest day of my life!!!

Fast forward to Jan 31 - I forced myself to walk more than 5 meters, because I can't miss Abby's wedding! and I survived! Thanks to double dose of pain killers and the good morale that day!  Feb 1 - I finally went back to work even if I hardly walked straight, because at that point the loneliness and boredom of working at home was starting to torture me (haha!). It's only now (3rd week of Feb) that I started walking straight again, but still with slight pains/kirot in my lower back time to time. My medication and physical therapy are ongoing, and it will end next week, when I'm scheduled to have a follow-up consultation with DOCTOR 2.

THE HAPPY THOUGHTS BEHIND ALL THESE

I was bound to a critical physical condition, yet God allowed me to walk on our wedding day. As what most my friends say, "WHAT?! Dec. 29 pa nagsimula yan?! Buti nakalakad ka nung kasal!". My answer is always, "YES, thanks to ADRENALINE! kung sakali, nag WHEEL down the aisle ako diba!". Each time I say that, I then feel more thankful realizing that God also allowed me to DANCE our funny and legendary "Kapag Tumibok ang Puso" first dance, which our guests still remember up till now!

Slipped Disc after a wedding can be a humor rather than an illness. It's a joke now in the office that the reason why I got this is because we had an intense honeymoon! It was annoying at first until I realized that it's actually a funny and easy excuse when someone asks why I was out for 2 weeks. I say, "nasobrahan sa honeymoon e!", then that someone giggles naughtily -- hahaha! Then in my head I say, "sige, sumaya lang kayo!" ampf.

An injured wife can bring out the best of a husband as a HOMEMAKER. Or perhaps the right sentence is, being injured stopped me from underestimating my husband as a potential houseband. hehe! Lou did all house chores for the entire January, including the preparation of the meals I needed while he's in the office! He became an expert on it, that one day I woke up with a newly invented meal "Pork Steak with shredded Carrots" -- a pork steak that has a rich pulpy red sauce, which I didn't recognize at first, until he bragged (in a matter-of-fact tone) that it's actually a type of meal that one should cook for kids who do not like veggies. oooh. I admit it got to a point where I felt jealous -- I used to be the queen of MY kitchen, then the king took over, and now I feel like he's a better cook than me!!!

Best of all...

"To be true in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health" was tested way too early, and the verdict is overwhelming. I sound like I'm just another PWD who simply couldn't walk, but it's worse than that. At the peak of the pain, I couldn't do other basic things such as dressing up, getting my own glass of water, making calls for health card questions, and more. But Lou was there to do literally everything for me, still with giddiness and no complaints. I can't count the number of times I cried for feeling so worthless, for feeling so sorry that I'm giving him all the possible inconveniences at the start of our marriage ...but he never got tired of comforting me by assuring that it's okay, that he's in fact happy that he's able to take care of me, and that I should be focusing on my recovery rather than battering myself emotionally.

Among the countless self-pity moments I had, I guess the most touching one was when I just got out of Makati Med's neuro sciences center, after my Electromyography/EMG. As some may not know, this kind of test could be painful and uncomfortable or not, depends on your tolerance. Perhaps I have a low tolerance for pain, or I am just already way too physically and emotionally stressed by the time I had it, that it felt like it's the worst day of my life. I always describe it as -- a frat hazing where you get electrocuted and pinned by syringe for over 2 minutes, several times. But I held tears the whole time, because there's no point in crying. 

When I got out, Lou asked me how was it. I just didn't say anything for 5 seconds, then I started sobbing like a baby, mumbling "It's painful...". He consoled me like he cradled a baby in the hallway, trying to cheer me up "it's alright, tapos na ang emg, yehey!". I started smiling again. There I realized that I wasn't really crying out of pain, but out of the emotional stress of not having anyone beside me while undergoing EMG. I needed Lou, then he was there, the first person I saw when it was finally over. I was like a dog, whimpering for seeing my best friend after having stressful physical blows. We managed to end that day saying that getting around the hospital is fun! I was enjoying the wheelchair ride, while he was enjoying the pushing. And he's serious with that, you should have seen him push my wheelchair like he's shopping for chips in Shopwise! hehe! Only my husband can turn the mood 180 degrees just like that!

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These happy thoughts cheer me up, whenever I have those dramas and tantrums. But oftentimes now, I am able to summarize all happy thoughts in one line - why sulk when I just married the most caring man on earth!? Then I laugh realizing that, while I thought we were not lucky to have a honeymoon after the wedding, we were actually blessed to be together most of the time, to be able to exchange cheesy comforting nothings like we're renewing vows daily, just at the start of marriage. THAT is the real honeymoon.  

But, happy or not, the utmost comforter is prayer. I always thank the Bigger Man above for never leaving me and Lou since day 1 of my back pain, for not giving me anything worse than a slipped disc, for making me walk once again, and for letting me see beautiful things behind every ordeal we go through. :)